We live in a world with fwb and people “talk” and date instead of commit. Probably birth out of the fear of being alone and not having anyone so you take what you can get. On the other hand, no one likes to be rejected so to spare you the shame and possible humiliation you choose to “go with the flow” instead of expressing your feelings and have an understanding of the situation instead of assuming. I know for a fact that assuming in most cases lead to getting your feelings hurt.
In order to get answers and spare your feelings you have to put self aside and stand your ground! If something bothers you say it! If something makes you smile let them know. If you’re feeling them and you know they’re feeling you don’t walk around clueless. Take a stand and say “let’s talk, what are we doing here?” Many times people have different expectations yet they don’t express them and end up frustrated, hurt and sometimes crying. Like I’ve said many time before communication is the key to any healthy relationship.
With a clear understanding of expectations and what the other person is looking for you save a lot of time and heartache if that person is not looking for the same thing or not able to provide what you need. For example, my desire is to meet a man where we value the same things and desire the same things in life. With that, not only do I have expectations but I have non-negotiables also. One of my expectations is if he’s trying to be my man is for him to be unattached and opened and honest with me. That’s not too much to ask. One of my non-negotiables is a man who does drugs. It doesn’t matter how fine he is, or how much money he has. If he does drugs I don’t need to know anything else about him.
You see, so many are afraid of being alone and lust has been mistaken for love that instead of sticking to our standards we relax them for whatever reason and often find out that we shouldn’t have. Love shouldn’t be a dreadful chore it should come with ease and be a delight.
Until Next Time……