I’m unsure if anyone else feels the way I do at this very moment. In fact, the way I feel is hard to explain. However, I’m not going to attempt to but perhaps you can understand with this question that keeps reoccurring. “Will you marry me” has definitely lost it’s meaning which means people don’t value marriage like they use to. I’ve been asked that question in the last 18 months more then I can remember to count. What does that say? Well, I’m sure some of you are probably thinking I must have been in several relationships & that’s how the question arose. That would be false. In fact, I wasn’t in a relationship with any of these men. Some I had just met and others I don’t even know their names. I’ve had men ask me to marry them while walking down the street. I’ve had men ask me to marry them because they love the sound of my voice, I had a man ask me to marry him at Wendy’s recently. Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to be asked that question by a man I love with the very essence of my soul & can’t imagine living without. However, I just can’t help but wonder what happened to love?
Once upon a time men where gentlemen and loved instead lusted. They knew their role as a man & was a provider instead of a leach. I’m not saying all men are like this. I’m simply saying, love today is not what it use to be. Hidden agendas, secret families and identities makes it difficult at times to fall for the true person because you’ve met the custom version. In those cases it robs the individual from making the choice of taking a chance on what you have to offer or going the other way because they know won’t work. What happened to the time when love was just love?
To answer my own question, so many people are selfish so what they are looking for is not happiness in sharing their life with someone else but “I need someone to fill this void.” At times it’s pride that stands in the way of allowing nature to take it’s course. Other times it comes so quickly instead of embracing it – it slips away. Then there’s a lack of transparency and false expectations that leads to heartbreak, disappointment and sometimes shame. However, true love is not impossible although it may not come when you want it rather when you least expect it.
Love, life and happiness is what you make it to be. It’s deciding what you can deal with and who you can’t live without. Love is about sacrifice, selflessness, honesty, openness and enjoying one another. We can help who we fall for because they pull on our heart strings. It’s up to us to treasure them and cease the moment once we do.
Dr. Mindy A. Butler