Home » 2014 » June

I Met Jezebel

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Earlier this year I met Jezebel. A week later he asked me to be his girlfriend. While I was flattered and even intrigued by his charm I told him without hesitation that wasn’t possible. I saw the selfishness which is the root of pride, arrogance, manipulation & control. I told him he needed to get over himself, be healed and that I needed time to see who he was. A person can tell you anything. Time reveals who they are.

So we talked a few weeks (off & on about 5 weeks) and I realized he was trying to manipulate me with his charm and was frustrated when he saw that didn’t work saying “I don’t know how to pursue a woman like you.” What he was really saying was by now I would have already slept with another woman & can’t figure out why you not falling for my tricks. Truth is, life has made me wise. I’ve seen so many things when it comes to men that I see past the flattery words. I know my worth & I value myself.  Although I do desire companionship & a family I’m not willing to have a man at any cost. Men tell me all the time they’re surprised I’m single. My response is always: It’s not that I don’t have men interested in me. I’m just not interested in investing my time in those that have approached me.

We as single women have got to value ourselves enough to not grab hold of whatever comes our way. I’d rather remain uncommitted and happy then committed and stressed with the life being sucked out of me.

Until Next Time…..

Dr. Mindy

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DEAR CHRISTIANS

Dear Christians,

So many times I’ve asked people how they were doing & the response was “blessed” or “blessed and highly favored.” The truth is that is NOT a correct answer. How one is doing refers to their emotional state (happy, sad, ticked off, depressed, joyous, mad, etc). Me being blessed or highly favored is independent of how I’m doing. The fact that I’m blessed or highly favored doesn’t change with my emotional state.

There’s so many people in the church that speak church lingo but have no clue what they are say. Stop being a deep wonder and be real. The truth of the matter is when you’re not real with yourself and those that can help you come out of what you’re in you remain in that situation. So many Christians are hurting but live in a delusional world. They’ve been taught that life doesn’t bother us because we have Jesus on the inside. Despite the version or language my bible is Jesus was not void of emotions. #Selah

Having a churchy vocabulary & being deep all the time only say that you have the ability to appear spiritual. It doesn’t win souls, it doesn’t help you resolve whatever issues you are facing inwardly or with others. Nor does it resolved any issues you may have with someone else. In fact, most of the time what you are saying may sound good because you’re a Christian but what you’re saying may not even make sense and the person you’re talking to is thinking “what are you talking about?”

Let’s focus on the thing that matter. That’s being a Christian – not sounding like one.

 

Until Next Time….

Dr. Mindy

Friends First

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So many times people meet someone nice who makes them laugh and probably in the first two weeks have sex and end up in a relationship! Please don’t get spiritual on me thinking “I can’t believe she said that!” Let’s be real facts are facts. Most people sleep with whoever they’re “seeing” on the third date and yes that includes Christians because 80% of them are sexually active. Now back to what I was saying! So many base getting in a relationship off of the wrong things which is why a couple months into it they’re crying, stressed and wondering how they ended up with the person that gets on their nerves?

The answer is quite simply. You based your decision off a false sense of emotions (raging hormones, loneliness, low self-esteem, etc) that triggers happiness based on the wrong things which isn’t authentic. Most of what you’re feeling could have been avoided if you would have became friends first. A building can only stand and stand the test of time when the foundation is strong. Therefore, a relationship built on a poor foundation cannot last. However, when you take the time to get to know each other, see if you have the same goals, headed in the same direction and believe the same things you save yourself a lot of stress, heartache and time but taking time to become friends first. After all, they say friends make the best lovers and the healthiest happiest relationships are those who have a genuine friendship at the center of it.

Until Next Time…..

Dr. Mindy