We live in a world with fwb and people “talk” and date instead of commit. Probably birth out of the fear of being alone and not having anyone so you take what you can get. On the other hand, no one likes to be rejected so to spare you the shame and possible humiliation you choose to “go with the flow” instead of expressing your feelings and have an understanding of the situation instead of assuming. I know for a fact that assuming in most cases lead to getting your feelings hurt.
In order to get answers and spare your feelings you have to put self aside and stand your ground! If something bothers you say it! If something makes you smile let them know. If you’re feeling them and you know they’re feeling you don’t walk around clueless. Take a stand and say “let’s talk, what are we doing here?” Many times people have different expectations yet they don’t express them and end up frustrated, hurt and sometimes crying. Like I’ve said many time before communication is the key to any healthy relationship.
With a clear understanding of expectations and what the other person is looking for you save a lot of time and heartache if that person is not looking for the same thing or not able to provide what you need. For example, my desire is to meet a man where we value the same things and desire the same things in life. With that, not only do I have expectations but I have non-negotiables also. One of my expectations is if he’s trying to be my man is for him to be unattached and opened and honest with me. That’s not too much to ask. One of my non-negotiables is a man who does drugs. It doesn’t matter how fine he is, or how much money he has. If he does drugs I don’t need to know anything else about him.
You see, so many are afraid of being alone and lust has been mistaken for love that instead of sticking to our standards we relax them for whatever reason and often find out that we shouldn’t have. Love shouldn’t be a dreadful chore it should come with ease and be a delight.
Until Next Time……
Unfortunately we live in a world driven by lust in our eyes instead of love in our hearts. The youth of today think fashion and beauty is wearing skin tight revealing clothes when it’s actually sending a message they may not intend to send. Seems likes everything is sexually based and love, real love has become pre-historic; however, it does still exist.
I often think of children and how their love is pure. They know when someone loves them just like you know when a child loves you. My nephews, Godchildren, and adopted nieces and nephews all know I love them from our interactions. I greet them with excitement, hugs and smiles. I care, nurture and share my food (that’s real love) with them. Spending time with them is delightful and warms my heart! In the same sense, the bond between those seeking a relationship with each other should be genuine and although I don’t be love is a feel just the word used to describe an experience there are feelings that come with the choice to love. Love is an action word, not an emotion like happiness, or being sad. Emotions change and when love is truly a factor it doesn’t change like the wind. I could be mad at someone, hurt or disappointed. It doesn’t change the fact that I love them.
Yet we live in a selfish world of instant gratification where most people aren’t taught how to have a relationship with people let alone be in a relationship with someone. As a result we are in a constant battle. A battle of the sexes, a battle of the Christians who practice abstinence and the Christians who see no problem with sex outside of marriage. There’s a battle of what is beauty and what it is not which leads to the battle of low self-esteem and a host of other things. However, if people would become less selfish and more selfless (giving instead of receiving) relationships on every level would be happier, healthier and more fulfilling. You have to know not only know your worth but be patient enough to learn and appreciate someone else’s.
I know some of you are reading this simply because you want to know what I’m guilty of. Well, just like you I’m human. However, I don’t make excuses for my wrongdoings while screaming “Don’t judge me! Only God can judge me.” The truth of the matter is the people that harp on this stopped reading at Matthew 7:1 and don’t have an understanding of the things Jesus is saying in the chapter.
Nonetheless, I’m guilty! I owe a debt I cannot pay. I’ve thought some things I shouldn’t have, said and done some things. However, my heart’s desire is to please my Heavenly Father. So I make a conscience effort to live a life pleasing to Him and when I fall short – repent of that sin. Which means to turn away from it. Not do it over again as so many people do.
Not only am I guilty of being human and making mistakes; I’m guilty of not being bullied by the adversary of my soul and exposing him. So many people just go with the flow. So many are afraid to tell people the truth of God’s word and to get themselves together. I’m guilty of challenging people’s beliefs, challenging false doctrine and challenging people to think differently then they always have. Expanding your mind and understanding only helps you out in the long run.
I’m guilty of standing up for what I believe. Trusting in God and His word as the final authority. Lastly, I’m guilty for not following the crowd, what’s normal to some people and dancing to the beat of my own drum.
However, Jesus went to the cross for me and anything people want to accuse me of or anything wrong I’ve done His blood was shed and the final verdict was CASE DISMISSED!!!!
We serve a faithful and just God! So many times I’ve wondered and asked the question “Who wouldn’t want to serve a God like this?